I Thought I had Early Signs of Dementia
I was wrong
This is a humbling thing for a person who lives mainly in the mind to say. I was sure I was showing signs of the degenerative disease Primary Progressive Aphasia (PPA). I let this idea shape my life for 10 months. I even thought I would try to write my story as things progressed. I was obsessed about going to the Mayo to find out the truth.
So what happened? After all the tests, they said I show no signs of PPA. My language skills are excellent. If anything, I have a slightly lower-than-expected persistent memory. They suggested I try a few things to improve my memory—adjusting medications and improving sleep.
I found myself in an odd place. I should be glad I didn’t have PPA, and I was, sort of. But what to do about the memoir! I told this to Tim Lott and he roared with laughter. It is deliciously funny to have this little conundrum, something out of a sitcom—maybe Frasier or Seinfeld. Heady writer seeks to turn bad news into a way to become famous, noble even, only to have the bad news go away. She is fine! Aarrrgh. Her friends who have prayed for her rejoice. Her nurse daughter says, “I told you so.” Her motives are revealed.
As I said, God has exposed my silliness, my desire for people’s recognition. It is actually not a small thing at all. Spiritual writers assign this sort of behavior as a form of ‘human respect,” and pride. Time for confession.
Well, off I go.
I am glad your anxiety is eased. So many people I know have had the same memory problems in varying degrees. And it is not dementia. I was discussing the possible reasons for this with my daughter. We wondered if it was the overall stress of the last few Covid years and every major media venue keeping us hunkering down in fear mode. I have read that chronic long term fear and anxiety can actually shrink the brain. Also we discussed if the forgetfulness phenomenon could perhaps be caused by the 5G satellites sent up into the earth's atmosphere this last year with nary a vote by the peoples of the world, and the ubiquitous 5G towers subjected us all to irradiation our human bodies have neither had to deal with before in creation. (Our brains have constant electrical impulses as every epileptic knows.) Used to be before the pandemic a telecom company went before our City commission to get permission to put in the poles. There was ample discussions between the public and commission about the health effects of the radiation, and in our town the proposal was rejected. (Now they are there.) Lastly, when I was pleasure reading a huge cookbook written in 1898 for the White House, it even had a chapter on foods and poultices for the sick, I thought of all of the cooks and sous chefs that memorized all of these recipes and some of the help were illiterate. Even in my own days, my grandmother born in 1892, my mother and myself, a mother of seven, cooked every meal without reading a recipe. Sure, the first time you may learn it from a book, but mostly a neighbor or friend shared a recipe verbally. Then it was in your repertoire. EVERYTHING you did in daily life you did from memory. You did not need to consult a computer, a.k.a.phone. Now I see my adult daughter baking a simple banana bread with her phone propped up by the stove! I go to Home Depot and if I ask the where anything is in the store they google it! They have worked there for over a year and do not know what aisle even the hammers are on! Blows my mind. So if we don't use our brains anymore the way we used to, being it is a muscle, can't it grow flaccid, too? How many of you know your friends and families telephone numbers? I make a point of memorizing each new number and DIALING it in myself, thank you. How many of us use our phones to drive with every day? I was drawing a map for a friend to show him how to get somewhere so he could remember how to get there the next time he went and he asked why he should remember it when his car had GPS!
So what if there is an EMP attack, damaging unprotected electronics and electronic equipment over a large area? What if in the near future you are not allowed internet access because your ESG score is too low? You are up a creek without a paddle...and damn! I had to think an extra second or two to remember that idiom. Sigh.
Anne, I am so happy for you. Praise the Lord! The Lord has much more work for you to do.