In deepest night you come

Blind, I wait in silence

A prayer inspired by St. John of the Cross.

In deepest night you come, 
Blind, I wait in silence, 
Memories of piercing joy 
Like oil poured out as tears
Engulf me. My scorchéd soul is numb,
Black ash where once was fire. 

I am mute, deaf, dumb. 
Help me to pray!
Silence drums my ears, 
Bitterness shrives my tongue.
My stony heart a wall.

My lingering desire 
for anything not you
Becomes a rose that pricks 
when sharply grasped.
A stultifying mix of sin and pain--
When will this darkness end?

Burn out the rot that is not you.
Guide my footsteps. 
My compass is not working,
I fumble in the dark 
while silently you wait
In deepest night.

Have you abandoned me?
Let this cup pass, I plead.
Then memory awakes. 
Whose piercéd heart is this?
The darkness whispers. mine,
And I begin to weep.

Yearning opens up
To mystery and grace. 
My breath reveals your presence, 
My life becomes your gift,
You walk the path before me
In deepest night.