Living with depression
Caution: this piece may contain material that is triggering for some.
This topic is not cheerful. It is not intended to be. It is different from my usual posts, but I feel we must talk about it. We have an epidemic of depression and suicide, particularly among young people, and silence is deadly.
There is no feeling quite the same as the one you experience when a loved one is clinically depressed. Your spouse, son, or daughter has fallen into a deep hole with no ladder or rope for climbing out. You can see them at the bottom, inert. You want them to try to help themselves, but that seems too much for them. They are suffocating under the weight of depression, and nothing you do or say makes a difference.
When it happened to my family, I felt helpless, anxious, panicky, and afraid that something worse would happen. I didn’t know what to do or how to get help. I had trouble sleeping at night and couldn’t think about anything else.
My instinct was to write songs, hoping that they might reach my loved one when words alone couldn’t. It didn’t help them, but it did help me. Talking to a supportive friend helped, too. Finding ways to take care of myself and places to speak honestly about my pain was the best thing I could do for my loved one— it kept me mostly sane.
Do whatever you can for your family member. Get them checked by a doctor, and find a good therapist and/or psychiatrist who can provide professional care. Be an advocate for your loved one. It can be tough to find help, but it is out there. If there are signs of self-harm or suicidal thoughts, call a hotline. They can advise you on what to do and where to get help on an emergency basis.
Finally, there is hope. Things can improve when the proper treatment is found. If you know someone at the bottom of the hole of depression, tell them there is hope—that things can get better. I have seen it happen. Tell them you care. If you are a minor, tell an adult you trust.
This song was one of the first I wrote. It’s called Wishing.
Finally, if you suspect someone is depressed, ask them about it. That question may save someone’s life.