It is a privilege to see from a distance the shape of people's lives. Some face great difficulties. Others have a seemingly peaceful life. World events can play a large role. When they are born can predict a lot. At least it may seem so from the outside. However, family dynamics can also play a role. We have seen the tragedies and successes of Betsy, Belle, and Harriet as single women unlucky in love. Sarah Ferguson, the youngest daughter of the McCallister household, came of age at the end of WWI. She was the first woman of the McCallister family to have a successful marriage.
She met a young man named Warren Lyle Bancroft at the University of Illinois. Warren's family was from Yorkshire originally, and they were prodigiously successful at having children. 16 sons emigrated to America and set up farms and families in southern Illinois. They would gather together at an annual family reunion to share news, births, deaths, and anniversaries.
Warren was of that lineage, and he wanted to farm also. He studied scientific farming methods at the University. I don't know what Sarah studied. Sarah and Warren fell in love. He must have met Grandmother McCallister's approval for they were allowed to proceed.
They announced their engagement and wedding with hand-made cards and a short poem. Warren also made a pledge that he gave to Sarah.
For Life Companionship
I promise: –
To look for and believe in a high and noble intent in all you do and say, ever to put the best construction on all you do and say.
To give you gladly and cheerfully absolute freedom from arbitrary restraint or coercion.
To anticipate as far as possible your wishes.
To take up for you every possible burden and carry it with you.
To drop all non-essential differences of opinion.
To be counted open-minded on essential differences, willing to wait until we can agree,
To give the good-natured answer or silence always when spoken to harshly.
To be true to you in thought, word, and act.
To be frank and honest with you in everything, giving you my absolute confidence.
To as far as in me lies, live up to your ideal of me and not your expectations.
Finally, to hold our mutual love a sacred thing in life, to guard it, to guard it and cultivate it at all cost.
Love is respect, confidence, sympathy, understanding, forbearance, loyalty, common suffering, kindness, and generosity.
Warren
When I discovered this pledge among his papers, I sent it to all family members. One young couple has already used it in their wedding. At first glance, this note seems advanced for its time, compared to what I imagine typical husband-wife relationships were. It reflects a kind of knightly chivalry on Warren's part. Whatever its origin, this text will melt most female hearts.
Warren and Sarah were married in 1923, and their first child was born in 1925, their last in 1939. They had five children. Lisa, our next heroine, was born in 1928. She almost didn’t make it. The doctor put her in a shoe box behind the wood stove and the warmth revived her.
Warren worked managing farms in Illinois and Indiana. The family moved frequently when his jobs changed. Eventually, he took a job at the Meat Institute. His specialty was hogs.
The Bancrofts lived through the Great Depression and two world wars. Everybody moved in together during the Depression, the McCallisters, the Fergusons, and the Bancrofts. Imagine Mr. Bancroft in a household of 10, and a small boy the only other male in the house.
Both Mama Betsy and Grandmother McCallister died during the Depression, the former of cancer, and the latter of old age. By the end of the Depression, the Bancroft family was alone, Aunt Belle and Aunt Harriet having moved into their gracious home. But things were still crowded at home. Warren and Sarah had four girls and 1 boy, spaced out with 14 years between them.
In a family with more than one child, every child grows up in a different environment. Are they the oldest? Has the family moved a lot? Are they a middle or youngest child? What major events have affected the family, and when? Then there is the matter of temperament. This could be clearly seen in the Bancroft children. Rachel, the eldest, fought with Warren the most, perhaps because they were so alike. The second daughter Lisa inherited her father Warren's perfectionist tendencies and need for organization, and this gave the people in her life problems. Alice was the quiet, sweet one. She was to have plenty of difficulties in her life. The youngest, Ruthie and Bobby, had barely begun life during WWII.
We will focus our story on Lisa, the second oldest, for reasons that will become apparent. She met her beau at the University of Illinois in the late 1940s. They dated for several years. They could be seen laughing in their formal attire at the many college dances. His name was Douglas McMurray Schumacher, a proud blend of Scots and German. He had served as an enlisted man in the Philippines at the tail end of WWII, so he went to college on the GI Bill when he got out. He was in the ROTC, so contemplating a career in the military. He was a year behind Lisa in college, but six months older by the calendar. He was movie star handsome, except for a pair of jug ears. His eyes were the same piercing sky blue as Paul Newman, inherited from the German side, and his hair was dark and curly, a trait he inherited from his Scottish grandfather, Douglas McMurray, for whom he was named. He was capable of command, having been named cadet commander of the University of Illinois ROTC. This was in 1950.
Douglas was also something of a ladies' man. I base this on stories from the family. He enjoyed his visits to the Bancroft family, where Lisa and her sisters resided. The three older sisters were lovely young women collectively known as the Bancroft girls. All had beaus. The scene at the house was lively with lots of teasing.
"You really should take dancing lessons. Your feet flop around like frogs. How is a girl supposed to follow your lead?"
"That's because I am trying to avoid your stiletto heels!"
"Funny! I don't wear stilettos when I'm with you. I would be taller."
"That's the way I like it. It gives me a better view."
The youngest, Ruthie, was in grade school. This was fascinating. She liked to hide behind the sofa to spy on any necking, which amused the men but annoyed her sisters.
I base my statement about Doug being a lady's man because of things I found among his papers. I saw photos of bare-breasted women in the army newspapers he saved. I also found a box with all the dance cards from those college dances with Lisa. So he was also a romantic and valued his relationship with Lisa. I also found pictures in Lisa's effects of the two of them, she in her long off-the-shoulder dresses and he in his white Eton jacket, laughing. So Lisa kept mementos too.
Lisa was beautiful, with fine dark hair, eyes the color of blue slate, and a girlish figure. She had her eye on Douglas after they began dating, and before long they were going steady. In their last year together at school, Doug gave Lisa his fraternity pin. Being pinned was one step away from being engaged. They discussed plans for after college. Should Doug make the Army his career, or should he become a civil engineer like his father?
Sitting outside in the warm Illinois spring, they would discuss the matter.
"The army is a steady job with opportunities for advancement. My captain says I show promise. Business has no such security." He knew this because his father had lost everything during the 1929 Stock Market Crash, “And someone needs to protect this country.”
"i know, Doug. Someone must. But what about all the moving? Won't it affect the children?" Lisa sounded a little worried. She knew what it was to move a lot.
" I suppose it might. But we can always make sure to include them in decisions when they are old enough. We can provide stability at home."
"Of course." He leaned over and kissed her.
It was always Lisa's assumption she would be a “homemaker,” and she would follow Doug wherever he went. She didn't raise more objections.
Lisa finished college in 1950, Doug in 1951. She took a job teaching, but really she was waiting for him.
Like many of the women in the family, she had studied biology. Many years later she said, "I hated it, especially the dissections. I wanted to study art. But Dad said I had to do something practical."
She wasn't very happy as a teacher either. They made her teach P.E. when she couldn't throw a ball, and then there were all those noisy boys and dissections. She had grown up surrounded by females in a very prim environment: the two aunts Belle and Harriet, her mother Sarah, and her three sisters and at the beginning, Grandmother McCallister and Mama Betsy. She knew little of boys except her young brother Bobbie.
She made sure to guard her claim on Doug during the gap year by arranging for her younger sister Janet, also at the University, to take her place at fraternity and sorority events with Doug. Frankly, this was an amazing act of trust because Janet was gorgeous. She resembled Audrey Hepburn. But Janet was very clear about her role and had no intention of stealing her older sister’s boyfriend. Most people couldn’t figure out why she was going steady with a senior, and that nothing seemed to progress.
Doug decided to be a career officer. He was commissioned and was to be sent to Germany in September. He still had not proposed. I imagine this was a source of anxiety for Lisa. They were exchanging letters but could not see one another because of Doug's duties. Lisa sent Doug regular pictures of herself modeling dresses and a swimsuit to keep him interested. They could not see each other, so all they had were letters... and pictures. I can imagine her anxiety about the distance and lack of continued contact.
Lisa was at her family home in La Grange, Illinois, when Doug came to visit suddenly, shortly before he had to leave for Germany. He proposed, just like that, with a week to go (according to my mother). They were married a week later on September 15 in the family home, which had been beautifully decorated with white lilies, roses, and asters. Her mother, Sarah, who was a wonderful seamstress, made her dress with a fitted bodice overlaid with lace, and lace three-quarter sleeves. I don’t know who made the cake. I can't imagine how they managed to do an entire wedding in one week.
Doug was a second lieutenant in the US Army by that time, so his classmates made a saber arch for the bride and groom to pass through after the ceremony. They also cut the cake with his saber. There is a photo.
This is Chapter 3 of An American Family, a creative non-fiction series..
Chapter 1 is “A Houseful of Women.”
https://anngauger.substack.com/p/a-houseful-of-women
Chapter 2 is “The House on Liberty Street.”
https://anngauger.substack.com/p/the-house-on-liberty-street
Chapter 3 is Two Weddings, this post.
If you are enjoying this series, please subscribe to automatically receive the on-going chapters.
We will talk soon. Love you.