Sara's note called this to my attention! This exact problem is part of why I have avoided certain topics/conversations.
I think, if you go to efforts to obscure someone's identity from easy recognition, you have done your part. If someone else does all that research you suggested, and finds something--they have done the deed, not you.
I would suggest adding a disclaimer that names, places, and events have been obscured to protect anonymity of the people involved, and that way only you know what is retold exactly as it occurred, and only you know what was obscured and by how much. And we the readers don't know which names, places, or events have been obscured, which adds layers of confusion to prevent identifying any of these other people in your life.
I hope this is helpful! Thank you Sara for flagging this for me! Good luck, Ann!
Thanks, Scoot. You are right, if I disguise people and events sufficiently it will be hard to trace, and searcher would have to be singularly motivated!
I agree with Scoot. If you have the disclaimer and are diligent to protect people's identity, it would take a very malicious person to expend the energy required to expose the true identities of the people in the book.
I agree with Scoot. When I started writing non-fiction about life as a teacher in China, I had a related dilemma, on a very much smaller scale - was it ethical to tell stories about the things my students said or did in class? I discussed it with a fellow teacher-writer and concluded that with the measures I’d taken (never using real names, plus I use a pen name and do not publicly reveal the name of the university, the city or even the province).
Having said that, your situation sounds much heavier and I’m sure I’d struggle greatly with it. Perhaps it’s a case of which course of action would lead to the greatest good?
If the story ended with the cult, I wouldn't write it. Those chapters are dark, but what follows is transformative, and is the main reason for the book--the hope for people who may be recovering from their own darkest period that there can be beautiful things ahead.
Since you asked, my own view: There is enough hurt and pain in the world. If you suspect your writing would inflict pain on someone or their family, even if you don't care for them, I suggest not publishing it.
Yes. I agree. But the fact of the cult is an important part of my story. I am going to hit the high (low) points without identifiable details and focus on me.
Sara's note called this to my attention! This exact problem is part of why I have avoided certain topics/conversations.
I think, if you go to efforts to obscure someone's identity from easy recognition, you have done your part. If someone else does all that research you suggested, and finds something--they have done the deed, not you.
I would suggest adding a disclaimer that names, places, and events have been obscured to protect anonymity of the people involved, and that way only you know what is retold exactly as it occurred, and only you know what was obscured and by how much. And we the readers don't know which names, places, or events have been obscured, which adds layers of confusion to prevent identifying any of these other people in your life.
I hope this is helpful! Thank you Sara for flagging this for me! Good luck, Ann!
Thanks, Scoot. You are right, if I disguise people and events sufficiently it will be hard to trace, and searcher would have to be singularly motivated!
I agree with Scoot. If you have the disclaimer and are diligent to protect people's identity, it would take a very malicious person to expend the energy required to expose the true identities of the people in the book.
I agree with Scoot. When I started writing non-fiction about life as a teacher in China, I had a related dilemma, on a very much smaller scale - was it ethical to tell stories about the things my students said or did in class? I discussed it with a fellow teacher-writer and concluded that with the measures I’d taken (never using real names, plus I use a pen name and do not publicly reveal the name of the university, the city or even the province).
Having said that, your situation sounds much heavier and I’m sure I’d struggle greatly with it. Perhaps it’s a case of which course of action would lead to the greatest good?
Just realized I didn’t finish one sentence — “and concluded it was OK.” I wish there was a way to edit comments 😅
Yeah, I frequently wish I could make changes.
If the story ended with the cult, I wouldn't write it. Those chapters are dark, but what follows is transformative, and is the main reason for the book--the hope for people who may be recovering from their own darkest period that there can be beautiful things ahead.
A real dilemma! You do have the right to tell your story, but I wouldn’t want to harm someone else either. I want to know your story.
Ann you are such an honorable person — you will know in your heart the right thing !
Since you asked, my own view: There is enough hurt and pain in the world. If you suspect your writing would inflict pain on someone or their family, even if you don't care for them, I suggest not publishing it.
Yes. I agree. But the fact of the cult is an important part of my story. I am going to hit the high (low) points without identifiable details and focus on me.